1. Totally not WordPress’s fault. I had a window licking, forget which way is up, special moment.
I was trying to log into WordPress.org…. not wordpress.com.
2. It’s been over a year since I last posted. A YEAR!!!!! What the Hell’s bells Cat!!
A lot’s been happening. Life altering, some good, some bad altering ways.
So I’ll just get started, acknowledge I’ve eff’ed up and rededicate myself in the hopes that this huge faux pas won’t be a habitual problem and turn into new year resolutions.
I started 2014 with such good intentions but it was going to be sooo hard. It was fast approaching my mom’s 1 year anni of when she passed away…. January… (how can I even get through this without crying???!) Life sometimes can be exceptionally cruel. January I lost the most fantastic sweetest grandmother in the world. My grandma….
I don’t know if I can get through that paragraph. Right now I can’t even hold it together to even type the words. The picture is of my Alzheimer’s stricken grandfather and my grandmother at my wedding back in 2010. Did I mention how hard it is to type through tears?
We put grandma to rest January 25, 2014, just within the year of having lost mom. There is a void that can’t be filled.Where mom was the glue that kept the family together, Grandma was the Heart and Soul of the family. We were barely keeping it together when mom passed. Losing Grandma tore the family apart. Without going into too many details, my grandfather was moved to be closer to my aunt a little over 4 hours away to live in a Alzheimer’s treatment facility. While I’m still on talking terms with my entire family, the same could not be said between my family members. My heart goes to them. It pains me to see the ones I love at odds with no end in sight to the rift between them. Being the now second eldest woman in the family, all I can do is keep the memories of my family happy and together in my heart. Life goes on far different than where I was two years ago.
Through all of this, I floundered and yet some how have managed to lose 33 lbs and so far maintained it. I’m almost to my 10 % weight loss goal. It’s so easy to get discouraged about how slow going it has been. But then I remember those too wonderful women I looked up to and think of how they would respond to my loss. They would encourage me, cheer me on, tell me to never give up.
Its easy to get complacent, to let life run you over, be forgetful of the “why” to your journey. Don’t let it. Don’t let your hopes and dreams get binned, forgotten and left with regrets. Life while different isn’t over. You don’t stop living because you lose someone you love. You FIGHT! You have more of a reason to fight harder than ever before! Someone is watching you struggle. Someone is paying attention to the sacrifices. Maybe, just Maybe, that someone is fighting too, struggling too, and at their rope’s end because sometimes it feels those sacrifices are too overwhelming.
That someone might be someone you love and cherish dearly. They might be someone you don’t know yet but could become someone important to you in the future. Fight for you, for them, for the future.
Whatever you do, Just Keep Swimming.
Biggest love and thanks for reading.